The Mommy Wars Tag

As a mother you make a lot of choices. This starts when you just know you’re pregnant. Will I participate in prenatal screening, will I breastfeed later, where will I put the baby to sleep? This will be even worse when the baby arrives. Plenty to think about. Among moms, especially on social media and forums, you have several camps who have all made different choices. Fine, you would think. But quite often heated discussions arise about the choices mothers make, parenting-wise. The Mommy Wars tag answers the choices I make.

The Mommy Wars

Motherhood makes us mothers uncertain at times. This uncertainty is then further exacerbated by other mothers. You make well-considered choices and then you get a load of criticism about why you should do things differently. This doesn’t really cheer you up. This is why Betty and Esher came up with the Mommy Wars tag. This questionnaire answers the choices blogging moms made regarding the most debated topics in motherland. I was tagged by Romy from Dochterlief and will fill it in as well. Read along?

Mommy Wars; my honest answers

Do you breast-feed or bottle-feed your child?
Both kids have been bottle fed from the beginning. I had little choice because my drug use made it unwise to breastfeed. Then bottle feeding is the safest and healthiest choice. I actually made peace with that pretty quickly myself. This way, daddy can also bottle feed and I know exactly what the little girl is ingesting. By the way, my little man is a very healthy boy with no allergies so no need to breastfeed for that.

Does your child sleep in your bed, or does he/she have his/her own bed?
My oldest slept directly in his crib in his own room. There was less than a meter between the rooms so I heard every sigh. When he was 2 he got a big bed and that went well from the start.
The youngest slept in my bed regularly for the first 6 weeks. During the day she did sleep in her crib in her room but ’at night she was quite restless and only quiet when she slept on my chest. Fine, I didn’t worry about that. Suddenly the anxiety was gone and she was sleeping comfortably in her own room. This is still going very well.

Do you use washable diapers or buy them ready-made at the drugstore or supermarket??
I just use loads of ready-made diapers. The eldest did have washable swimming diapers. This was especially ideal on vacation. Saved a lot of swimming diapers in the suitcases. Furthermore, I find washable diapers really too much hassle. As bad as those pampers are for the environment, I still choose convenience.

Exclusively wooden toys or V-tech?
Both. I love wooden toys but kids have a weakness for brightly colored toys with buttons. I don’t mind, secretly I think V-tech toys are also just super fun. So my kids have both.

Do you open a pot twice a day or do you only cook fresh??
I generally cook fresh. Occasionally we do just have vegetables from a jar because I always have that in stock for emergencies. The little girl does get fresh vegetables. I steam some vegetables once a week, mash them and put them in the fridge and freezer. I used to do this for the oldest too. Also fruit goes in there when she is a bit bigger. It is done super fast so good to do.

Carry or pushchair?
Also both. I carried the eldest in a non-ergonomic carrier. I did not know any better. Otherwise he was mostly in the stroller. Last January we went on a trip and we often carried him in the back carrier when he was tired. I now carry the little girl very often in a sling. Lovely, a little sprout close to you. She also loves it and it works very well against the stomach cramps. She also sits regularly in the car.

Do you start potty training early or is your child still in diapers at four years old??
My goal is to have the oldest out of diapers by the time he is 16. In general, most teenagers don’t wear diapers anymore, right? My little man is a drama with potty training. I started when he was two. For a while he managed to pee on the potty once in a while. He is now 3,5 and still not potty trained. He just doesn’t care. I would like to send him to school potty trained so we have a lot of work to do. I am hopeful that the little girl will soon become easier to potty train. So yes, I was on time but he thinks otherwise.

Do you shop around at Primark, or do you only buy fair brands for your child??
Yes, sorry, I am such’a mom who really doesn&#8217t look at fair brands. I know, this really can’t be done but I really like shopping at Primark. Once every few months I drop in anyway. I also have to be honest and say that I am not really aware of the fair brands. When I do run into them I often find the clothes very dusty and wrong. Other than that, I mostly like to buy the common well-known children’s brands like Z8, Tumble ’n Dry, Name it and Noppies.

Is there room in your household for negotiation with your child, or are you a true drill sergeant?
Here we can do both. We can negotiate but sometimes children just have to listen. I look at it per situation. I do like the calm approach and I don’t do time-outs but time-withs. Getting a child out of the situation with a parent I find more pleasant for the child and parent rather than putting a child on the stairs by himself. I have never seen a child actually learn something from that. But well, we all have our weak moments of course.

Do you ever let your child cry, or do you comfort him at the first sob??
The youngest cries as soon as she touches her mattress. Within 2 minutes she is sleeping. I always find it so sad but it is her way of falling asleep. So yes, I will let her cry. Little man can also sob furiously when he’s angry. Even then I really let him cry. Crying is just an emotion a child has to release. I do think it is important that they feel safe and that they know they can cry at my place too. Sobbing on your lap is also part of comforting. So again I just look at the situation.

I hereby tag Saskia, Judith and Ellen to fill in the Mommy Wars tag as well. I am curious about your answers. If you’d also like to take over the Mommy Wars Tag, you should definitely do so! Nice even. Please link to the original by Betty and Esther?

Furthermore I tag Marjo, Cassandra, Linda, Astrid, and Mary-Lou. I look forward to your answers.

Do you ever feel like you have to justify your choices??

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