Mom confesses: guilt

Mothers always make things difficult for themselves. We moms’d like to keep all the balls high at once. We fulfill many roles and want to do them all well. Then we all suffer from bizarre feelings of guilt. Guilt of mothers lie don’t care.

One may seem silly, the other goes pretty deep. You can’t tell me there are mothers without guilt. I checked with myself and some dear blog colleague’s and discovered that we all struggle with guilt, big and small.

Mom confesses; guilt

No really! You are not the only one who worries about not being home in time to put the children to bed or who sometimes finds it more pleasant to sit in front of the laptop than to play a game with the children. All mothers suffer from guilt and we make it so hard on ourselves. I too, as a stay-at-home mom, suffer from guilt. You would say, ‘joh you are always home for your kids what do you care about?’ But unfortunately, even as a stay-at-home mom I suffer from it.

For example, I feel guilty for being away from home, almost, a few hours every day to take care of my horse. Do I feel guilty if I put the children in front of the television for an hour because I am too tired to do anything with them?. I sometimes say we have no more goodies in the cupboard while I still have a ‘secret stash’ somewhere for ‘snacking binges’.

I sometimes feel guilty because I can enjoy it immensely when the oldest is at play one day and the youngest is in bed. I always have the wildest plans but then I spend all those hours on the couch being lazy. And I could go on and on.

Recognition

I asked some of my dear blog colleagues’s what (silly) feelings of guilt they experience as mothers. Many situations were very familiar to me;

• We all make agreements with our children but sometimes we don’t keep them ourselves. And then our children remain incredibly loyal too. Result: meeeeega guilt.
• Also ‘lie’ we all sometimes lie about bedtime. Especially when our children can’t clock in yet. Shame on us.
• Almost all of us sometimes pay more attention to our screens than to our children. And then pointing it out to our children when they look at their screens too much.
• When it comes to food we all fail sometimes. Some of us like to eat in front of the television with our plates on our laps. Well, that’s all right. But then we feel guilty because we shouldn‘t’.
• We moms’re also sometimes tired or just completely done and then we get a short fuse. Which is why we sometimes grumble unfairly about our children. Yes, then we do feel very bad afterwards.

Not in control

Some guilt comes from certain choices you make. Regardless of whether you thought about it or whether it just happened that way. Generally speaking, such things are also quite negligible. However, there are moments, events or emotions beyond your control. Certain circumstances that make life go a little differently than you would like it to.

If you had the choice, you would have done it differently. One mother told me she felt guilty about the premature birth of her child. An event over which she had absolutely no influence but which has (had) a huge impact. To then feel guilty for not being able to keep your baby longer in your belly, that seems terribly sad.

How hard we mothers make it for us. I myself, for example, was unable to breastfeed both children because of my medication. At first I felt guilty about that too. Looking back now, however, I have no regrets at all. I had no choice, my children are in perfect health and lack nothing.

Why should I still feel guilty??

Knock it off!

After a long list of all our feelings of guilt, we were actually far from finished. We could go on and on. Shouldn’t we stop that?

With that constant guilt that we mothers suffer from? Isn’t it okay to be less perfect and act like a stay-at-home mom?? So mothers unite and let’s collectively stop that constant guilt! I sense a political party emerging.

Oh sorry, I’m rambling on a bit but hey, you understand me anyway?

Thanks

This bulleted article was created in part with the help and support of my dear blog colleagues’s. They too are hardworking, tough moms who don’t have to feel guilty about not being the perfect mom for a while. Mary-Lou, Cassandra, Judith, Marjo, Astrid and Linda, you are great!!

Do you recognize yourself in, any of, the guilt as a mom? What are you doing with that??

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